Loving Being Me

Anger, Fury, Rage

by on Jan.19, 2011, under Uncategorised

There are two sorts of anger:

1) where someone isn’t doing something you think they are supposed to be doing, or something isn’t happening the way you think it should. “This should be easier”. “Someone stole my stuff”. “I missed my plane”.

2) When you see something that is out of alignment. Injustice and oppression can give rise to this. (This is, by and large, the only form of anger that our society applauds -“People are dying NOW. Give us the money NOW” (Bob Geldof) – as we can detach ourselves from the emotion in a moment of self-congratulation.)

Other experiences can give rise to anger: e.g. “I’ve been attacked and I’m terrified”. That anger is because we feel powerless to change our circumstances, but nonetheless think there is something we can do. This is more like fury. We fantasise about reducing the other person to pulp – physically or emotionally – or somehow retrieving a lost situation. If we cannot realign the situation as in 2) above, this will also gives rise to fury.

Rage is something else. It happens when nothing is enough, and you cannot be assuaged. It is about destroying the world (that you have created, or are experiencing). It happens commonly when you realise that something has happened that is irrevocable, and that you can’t change the past – here at any rate. This is how the mind sometimes experiences a greater truth: that destruction and creation are part of the same process. In Unity Consciousness they are distinct, but not separate. We are, as we know, made of stars, or from the elements that are created when a star approaches the end of its life. We are made of what was once created by long extinct stars, exploding joyously on death into the firmament.

Oddly, perhaps, in the light of the above, when somebody dies, we are more likely to experience fury than rage. Why? Grief and fury are linked, because we are taking it personally that the loved one that has died has actually made a choice to die – this is true at the deepest level. But we think they didn’t love us enough, or we weren’t enough reason for them to stay. The rage comes when we realise that none of us can escape death, and the rage is more directed at ourselves and the universe than another being, alive or dead (although of course you can experience the destructive power of another’s rage if you are within their vision).

So we might find ourselves moving fluidly between these conditions, as our view changes.

What do we do with this discomfort? It is scary to hold this for any length of time, because we don’t know how to rectify the situation that gives rise to it. So first we can simply let the emotion pass through, and take a reality check on how important it really is, what the deep truth of the situation might be, and what is actually appropriate or kind for ourselves in the form of action. Our thinking mind may allow a greater wisdom to percolate through from a deeper understanding, and realise that even if we could, retrieving a lost situation would not be kind to anyone.

The second part is to sit in fury when it arises. I will give it a capital F and spell it as Fury, because sometimes this arises from way beyond the ego, although the ego will not know immediately. If you take a moment to allow the mind to fall still for a fraction of a moment, you will sense Fury arising from a place far beyond the personal. This may appear – as Truth also may – as a column of energy beside you or within you running from way below to way above, without limits. This Fury is aligned with how Creation wishes to express, and while it supports absolutely that everyone finds their own way of being, in whatever reduced perspective they find themselves, there is a magnetic pull that encourages us to align with the order of what we might call ‘right action’; at this time the attraction is very strong to a template that allows us to return to a healed condition and allow Divine Order free reign. The way we experience a lack of alignment and a lack of right action in what we see around us is Fury. At this point the invitation is to agree that the ego does not, in an attempt to own it, attach some lesser story to it. If our experience of this pillar of Fury is one of a fiery outer layer, be aware it does not burn, but – in addition to the gift of calibration of Truth and Right Action – has a strong quality of passion to it. Step inside it to the core, and then experience the truth of what it carries.

So the third part is then to take a moment to tune into the fact that we are living in a flow of beingness, where there is no constant; this frees us up from thinking that things should be a particular way. The moment we sit with any of these conditions, and allow a sense of not just the flow of emotion, but also the flow of creation, an extraordinary thing happens. We realise our frustration with form, and that we try to make it safe for ourselves by trying to control it or keeping it fixed. In fact, this very restriction and fixedness is what we rage against. What we may then experience is a sense of the endlessly possible, and the phenomenal capacity of the Universe to invent and renew in a roar of bliss, now and always. If we then welcome this into our innermost being, we awaken a very unusual aspect of ourselves, that which is both Creator and created, moving in perfect harmony. At this point, even sitting in the well of Fury or Rage, the parts of us that believe anything should be any different from the way it is begin to fly away. Because this touches us at the level of deep archetypal awareness, image may arise; for me, it was as if witches were flying off on broomsticks. Then it is as if all parts of us fly together in ecstasy. Then we begin to love that the circumstances that once provoked our anger now bring us to a delight that nothing can remain fixed, ever. We realise that even what seems like repetition is always something done for the first time; that apparent stasis and fixedness have to be created afresh in each moment. In fact to keep feeling fury or rage means that we recreate it in each moment. And Creation loves us so much, it will unquestioningly do it for us.

And while there are other ways to come to the understanding that what is, is, there arrives a sense that even that part of us that thinks this isn’t the case, and we are still in anger, is there to serve us. Rather than seek expanded states of consciousness to put things in perspective, what happens if we go deep within what seems a very personal set of thoughts and emotions? To be truly inclusive means that we include this condition also, and know in our being that this is also God. If we then don’t seek to change it in any way, it will transmute by itself.

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