Loving Being Me

Shame, the Greater Self, and fear of the already known

by on Dec.18, 2010, under Uncategorised

We incarnate in a very specific way, and a necessary part of the preparations we make is to forget who we are. We also put in place a mechanism to stop us remembering we have done this. How else could we experience life through limitation, through which we will learn so much? We have to lock away our route back to total awareness and clarity, and the reason for being here.

Equally, as we grow, we learn almost immediately that certain behaviours are not tolerated. These behaviours arise from our divine nature, as this is all we are. So if, for instance, you abandon all sense of space in the ecstasy of creative flow and joyful movement, and knock over something considered valuable, perhaps even making only a small mess that can be quickly rectified, the reaction of your parents can be one that you experience as so frightening that you know that you must never, ever, let this happen again. Clearly our behaviour that derives from this impulse is wrong and unloveable, and we learn shame. And to let this impulse out of the box might be catastrophic, next time. So now, in our terror, and our need for safety and survival at any cost, we have locked away our free creativity as well as ecstasy, but we don’t realise what we have done. All we know is that we have locked away a shameful part of us, and we don’t even want to go near whatever it is that feels so shameful. The pain is too great. So we have separated ourselves from a wonderful part of us, and feel we are terrible. This split in the beauty of our being also creates a stress we can’t locate. And though we strive to know the meaning of ecstasy and experience the genius of creativity, we now can’t connect fully, and we begin to feel completely inadequate and unworthy. So now a fear of failure prevents us from approaching the shame, which in turn is hiding the diamond within. And then, to cap it all, and in our innocence, we beat ourselves up for being useless.

This is similar to the mechanism we use to surround ourselves with fear when contemplating our greater spiritual selves. Shame and unworthiness concerning our Divine origins separate us from knowing what we are. But we have a sense of the exquisite and phenomenal nature of our true Being, albeit that we believe we will destroy ourselves and others if we open to it. So here is the conundrum: we have surrounded what we know as the truth about ourselves with fear. But if we didn’t have the sense of the phenomenal nature of what we have hidden, we wouldn’t experience the profound terror as we approach it to begin healing this part. Indeed, what we label fear of the Unknown is, in fact, fear of the deliberately forgotten.

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